Fight It
by emanne
Summary: Felicity wasn't always this happy. With a powerful drug injected in her, can she fight the urges she used to have when she was younger? WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CUTTING.


**WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CUTTING. **

**Hi! So this is just a one shot I thought of and I needed to get it out so here it is. Enjoy! :)**

**Arrow is on my Christmas list, but until then, I don't own it. **

* * *

"Is the person there? Did you find them in time?" Felicity asks Oliver and Diggle over the comms.

"No. We got here too late," Oliver responds. Felicity's shoulders slumped.

"The drug was already in his system by the time we got here," Diggle adds.

Lately, there had been many reports of suicides all connected with a new drug called Madness. The news has nicknamed it the "Suicide Drug". Apparently, when injected with the drug, a person will have the uncontrollable desire to end their life. They had gotten a call from Lance saying that there were reports of loud noises from an apartment building that he felt could be related to Madness. Unfortunately, he was right and it didn't end well for the man who took the drug.

Felicity turns in her chair when she hears her boys come in. She had a bulletproof glass room installed that sat right when you reach the end of the stairs. It was a safety precaution, of course. Basically, one would have to enter the password once to open the door, which would lead to the stairwell that was enclosed in the glass room, and then swipe an I.D. card to actually get into the foundry.

Oliver sets his bow down the table and Diggle begins treating a small wound on his leg.

"How did he do it?" Felicity asks, her voice small and wavering.

"Slit his wrists," Oliver responds.

Felicity quickly turns back around and gulps. She looks down at her bracelet clad wrists. Pushing them aside, she stares at the scars. She feels a presence behind her so she quickly put her bracelets back in place.

"Felicity? Are you alri-" Oliver begins to ask, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Fine. I'm just fine," she interrupts. "Did you get a sample of the guy's blood?" She asks, ignoring Oliver's worried eyes.

"Yeah we did. You really think you will be able to find an antidote based on his blood?" says Diggle, putting the first aid kit away and handing Felicity the vile of blood.

She takes it from him and responds, "Nope. But I'm gonna try."

Oliver continues to stare at her so she avoids eye contact with him and instead turns to Diggle. "Are you going to head home soon?"

"Yeah, I'm going to head out now. You need anything before I go?" he asks her, looking between the still staring Oliver and the rather fidgety Felicity.

"No, I'm good. Thanks Dig." She forces a smile and turns back to her computer.

She hears him climb up the stairs and leave the foundry. She continues to sit at her computer, pretending to look busy.

She lets out a fake yawn and gets up. "Well, I guess it's time I get going." She starts to slip her jacket on when she is interrupted by Oliver's hard voice.

"I saw the scars, Felicity."

She turns, wide-eyed. "What are you talking about, Oliver? You are talking gibberish! Are you crazy or just tired?"

"Stop it Felicity! Just stop it! You know exactly what I'm talking about." He strides over to her and holds out his hands. "Give me your wrists."

She lets out a small whimper as she surrenders her wrists over to him. He slips off each bracelet and sucks in a breath when her wrists are bare.

"What happened to you?" he whispers, looking up at her with fear and anger.

"I used to cut. It's not that big of deal." She tries to pull her wrists away but he doesn't let her.

"Not that big of deal? Hurting yourself is a big deal to me, Felicity. Tell me what happened." He pleads.

She takes in a deep breath and then she starts speaking, refusing to look into his eyes. "I was severely bullied in high school. Being a nerd with only a computer as her friend isn't always so glamorous. People cornered me. Beat me up. Called me a loser. My parents weren't much help, either. They verbally abused me for years. After a while I couldn't take it anymore. I started to cut and then I tried to kill myself one day in the girls' bathroom. One of my teachers was in there and she stopped me. She helped me get my act together and apply to MIT. And here we are."

"Look at me," he demands. She reluctantly looks at him through her watery eyes. "I am so sorry this happened to you, Felicity. It kills me to think you went through all that." He gently lifts her wrists and runs his fingers over each horizontal scar, as well as the vertical ones. His fingers are soon replaced by his lips ghosting over her scars. She shivers as he places light kisses on her flesh. This is the most intimate they have ever been. Sure there have been shoulder touches and hugs, but never kisses.

He pulls his lips away and looks up at her. He swipes his thumb over her falling tears and pulls her in for a tight hug.

"If you ever, _ever_ feel like how you did then, I want you to come to me, Felicity. Immediately. Do you understand?" She simply nods her head in response. They pull away and she sits back in her chair.

"You aren't leaving?" he inquires.

"I think I am going to get a jump-start on the antidote. You go home, though," she says, typing away at her computer.

She feels a hand on her shoulder. "Don't stay too late."

She smiles in response and lets out a breath when he leaves. She shakes the thoughts of her past away and gets working on the antidote.

* * *

A few hours later and she has almost finished it. All she needs to do now is add the man's blood and the antidote will be ready. She takes the blood from the vial and puts it in a syringe. The syringe drops from her hands and she quickly grabs it before it hits the floor. She lets out a sigh of relief until she notices a pain in her hand. She looks down and sees the needle has punctured her hand and the syringe is half empty.

She starts to panic as the desire to end her life creeps back into her mind. Flashes of when she was in high school flash in front of her eyes. She quickly runs to her purse and grabs her phone, quickly typing the number and waiting as it rings.

"Felicity? What's wrong? Are you in danger?" Oliver's says frantically, his voice hoarse from sleep.

"Oliver," she croaks. "I am so sorry, Oliver. You have to believe me! I didn't mean for this to happen. Oh God. I can't do this anymore. No! Stop it Felicity, that's not what you want to say! That's not how I really feel, I swear! The drug is making me say and think these things Oliver and I can't stand it!" she sobs, her voice shaking.

"Felicity, tell me what happened," Oliver demands, his voice rough and fearful.

"I dropped the syringe with the blood in it and I went to grab it and when I did some was injected in my hand and now I feel like committing suicide and I can't stop it!"

"I'm already on my way and I called Dig. Stay on the line with me."

"I can't. I physically can't. I'm sorry Oliver. It's like I'm possessed or something." And with that she unwillingly hangs the phone up.

"Damn it!" Oliver yells and drives faster.

He runs down the stairs and freezes at the sight in front of him. Felicity is kneeling in the middle of the foundry with one of Oliver's arrows on her wrist. He feels sick to his stomach as he sees her fighting to keep the arrow from piercing her skin. He reaches in his pocket for his I.D. card so he can get into the foundry when he realizes he doesn't have it. He starts banging and yelling on the glass door.

"FELICITY. OPEN THE DOOR. FELICITY!" he yells.

She looks up at him startled. "I can't, Oliver! I can't move!"

He slumps to the floor. "Felicity. Keep your eyes on me. Fight it. Fight the drug. You can do it, I promise. You are so strong Felicity. I'm right here with you. We will do it together. Keep fighting it Felicity. I love you. Do you hear me, Felicity? I love you. So fight it. Fight it for me. Please," he says loudly so she can hear.

She has tears falling down her face as she asks, "You love me?"

"Of course I love you, Felicity. I have ever since you called me out on my bullet-ridden laptop. I am pretty sure I fell in love with you right then. I have denied it to keep you safe, but I am not going to anymore. Come on, Felicity. Put the arrow down and be with me. We can get married. You want to get married, right? And we can have as many kids as you want, I promise. Just don't leave me." He says desperately, resting his head on the glass, waiting for a response.

"I want all of that, Oliver. I really do." She says.

He turns his head and sees Diggle come running down the stairs. "What the hell, Oliver?" He yells and pulls out his card, quickly swiping it and opening the door. Oliver is on his feet in a second and he runs over to a shaking Felicity and rips the arrow out of her hand.

"It's okay, Felicity. I'm here," he whispers and pulls her into him.

She clutches his shirt and cries, "Oliver, I still feel it. It hurts so bad."

"Shhh…I know. Where is the antidote?"

"It's on the table. You have to put the blood in the serum first."

Diggle jumps into action, mixing the solution together and putting it in a syringe.

"This is going to sting a bit, Felicity," Diggle warns.

She nods her head in response and she cringes when the needle slides into her arm.

She feels instant relief and her eyes droop. She welcomes sleep while still clutching Oliver's shirt.

* * *

Felicity's first thought when she wakes up is that she is very, very comfortable. She feels heaviness on her waist and realizes it's an arm. She turns over and sees Oliver lying next to her, his eyes open and concerned.

"Hi," she says shyly.

"Hi," he responds.

"How did I get here?"

"I carried you."

"Is this your bed?"

"Yes"

"Did I scare you?"

"Almost to death."

"We are going to have to talk about all this, right?"

"Eventually."

"Can I ask one more question?"

"As many as you want."

"You love me?"

"Always."

* * *

**Well, that's it. It's not exactly what I wanted and it is a little rushed because I did it very quickly so please forgive me for that. Let me know what you thought. :)**


End file.
